


Dressed Up Like A Sex Toy

by Val_Creative



Series: 31 Days of Kinktober 2019 [12]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Dirty Jokes, Explicit Language, Feelings, Humor, Kinktober, Kinktober 2019, Licking, Light-Hearted, M/M, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Post-Deadpool (2016), Scars, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 03:29:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21008987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/pseuds/Val_Creative
Summary: There’snoreason for the oversized unicorn costume.





	Dressed Up Like A Sex Toy

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE THESE TWO 🦄🌈🌈💦💦💦 DOES ANYONE ELSE STILL LOVE THEM TOO

*

Being stuck in the 21st century eventually gets on his nerves. He misses instant instant-coffee and UV light dryers.

Marching out of a convenience store, Cable notices the WHIT 77 News broadcast. A man in a skintight red costume — underneath a huge, furry unicorn costume — he's reported for gunning down the masterminds of a local sex trafficking ring.

Back in their apartment, Wade's still got it on. The plush, gold unicorn-horn and rainbow tail and hooves included. He's arguing loudly with Blind Al, who had been allowing Cable — and by association, Wade himself — to sleep on her fold-out couch before. She demanded they get out after Wade nearly lit her hair on fire while narrowly avoiding another spine-crushing punch from Cable.

Wade breaks curfew hours by listening to hours of dubstep. He has no regard for privacy. Cable threatens to end his existence _at least_ three times a day. The neighbors on the same apartment floor are either infuriated by them or downright terrified.  


He's carrying an armful of something Cable doesn't recognize. Cable unstraps his utility belt, whistling over them.

"Do you need an escort back?"

"It's called Uber, bitchass," Blind Al retorts, huffing past him for the corridor-elevators, slamming the door. Cable doesn't take offense, waiting for a moment for shucking off his dark leather jacket. The leather glove stays on his cybernetic left hand.

Leaving a shower of holographic Pokemon cards behind him, Wade takes a running leap into Cable's arms. He squeals out.  


_ "NATHAN!" _

"Get off of me," Cable mutters, his expression twitching. Blood flecks and dries into the shimmery white unicorn-fur.

"Too much?" Wade asks cheerfully, kicking up his legs up in a playful gesture while still dangling mid-air. He's still got the Deadpool mask in place. Cable fights down the urge to toss him on his ass. "Look, look, _wait!_ It's got a pee-hole!"

"I'm going to snap your neck and put you in the dumpster."

Wade boops his nose. "Charming. At least tell me I'm pretty, Little Miss Sunshine."

"Before or after I snap your neck?"

"I'm not picky," Wade declares, slipping off his mask and grinning. There's so much burn-scarring all over him. Pretty wouldn't be the word to describe him — but when Wade grins so openly and widely at him, Cable sees the beauty of him. His youthfulness.

Cable's lips twitch this time, smirking and pressing over Wade's mouth. He's stopped comparing him to his wife. They were both tortured souls and used ridiculous, _rude_ humor to cope, but she's gone. Living in another time-line and happily moving on with her life. She would tell Cable — Nathan — to do the same. _Find your spark, Nathan, baby. Find what's gonna keep you going._

"Mm, fuck," Wade groans, pulling out of the heat of an open-mouthed, licking kiss. Cable's mint flavored lip-balm shining on his upper lip. "You're so hot. Like Terminator hot, but a short fucker like James McAvoy—is your dick real?"

"Yes," Cable monotones.

"I don't believe you."

The naughty lithe of Wade's voice doesn't go unnoticed. Cable's hands on his waist settle him down onto his feet. Wade gives him the sly and smug look comparable to the human embodiment of an insufferable _fucking_ balltease he is. Cable's gonna _rail_ him, until the morning peeks through the curtains, until the neighbors jack up Knife Party and Skrillex to drown Wade out.

*


End file.
